Chapter Five

In our meeting we discussed Chapter 5 and Forgiving Others. We found that each of us were at different stages of forgiving someone who played a role in our abortion experience. We agreed that it is imperative to relinquish that person who hurt you to God and to pray. To hold onto these feelings of anger, betrayal and bitterness is corrosive. It affects your relationship with God and Satan is loving it. Romans 12:19 says "Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay', says the Lord." Pray, pray and pray some more for God to soften your heart toward this individual, to give you a heart of forgiveness, for understanding to the meaning of forgiveness and to be obedient. Prayer is vital. I had to do this in order to forgive my father and even though initially I did not want to forgive him, I prayed anyway. With God I was able to forgive my father and truly realized it when I felt a sense of sympathy for him because he would have to undergo the wrath of God.
I have a therapist, friend and truly gifted woman who wrote an article on Forgiveness and I have condensed the article to include in this email. The entire article can be seen on Sue McHenry's website http://bibletherapy.blogspot.com/2005/08/forgiveness.html, click on Biblical Therapy on the right, go to the Table of Contents on the left and click on Index to Posts and you will find the whole article titled Forgivness.

Sue writes:
"Let me define forgiveness first. Forgiveness is canceling the debt and promising not to dwell on it in our mind when it comes to mind. When God forgives us our sins, He canceling the debt we owe Him.
What it is not: Forgiving is NOT forgetting, reconciliation, or condoning. They are all different and separate things. Forgetting is not possible, and reconciliation may or may not result from forgiveness depending on whether or not the offender is safe and willing.
God knows us. He knows that as long as we harbor the anger and the pain and the hatred and the sickness, our fellowship with Him suffers. He wants absolute, utter, boundless, inexpressible joy in our lives, and He knows that as long as we harbor the pain of the past, we rob ourselves of that joy.
Jesus knew that, too. Why did He ask the Father to forgive them? Were they going to be forgiven by the Father just because Jesus asked? Of course not.
It was about Jesus not allowing them to rob Him of His joy and His fellowship with the Father. It was about not allowing His natural hatred of them (He was fully human, remember, as well as being fully God) to distract Him from loving and serving God in His final moments of His earthly life. It was so He could be an example to us as to how we can do it, too.
It was NEVER about them. It was ALWAYS about Him and His relationship with His Father.
And He wants that for you. Your forgiveness isn't about them. It doesn't change a thing for them when they face God. God says "leave room for My wrath." (Romans 12:19 He'll deal with them, and when He does, it will far surpass anything you've ever done to them, or could.
Your forgiveness of them is about you, and about your joy and your relationship to God.
If you haven't fogiven them and moved beyond it, then they still own you. They're still tormenting and torturing you. And the enemy loves it. Your anger and hatred and lack of forgiveness is your right. They enemy is making sure you don't forget that. And he's robbing you of your joy and your fellowship with the One that will condemn him to eternal fire, as well. Remember that he wants you, and as long as he can keep you anger-filled and distant from the Father, he has you.
Want the joy that God has in store for you. Want it so badly that you're willing to do anything to get it. Crave it, hunger and thirst for it. Don't give up. Claim victory over your past. It can't own you unless your a willing participant. Defeat it. Begin today to reclaim the joy."

Please read the article in it's entirety. Below is a prayer I prayed to forgive others who have harmed me in the past. With prayer I was successful and I have to tell you that it is freeing to be rid of all of the anger, hurt and bitterness.
Dear Father God,
Please give me a heart of forgiveness. Give me the heart to say this prayer forgiving __________ with meaning and sincerity. Lord, I don't want to disobey you. Help me understand what it means to forgive ___________. Help me to just hand this to You. In Jesus name I pray. Amen
1. Father, I have been hurt. Please heal my wounded heart. Heal me of these feelings of rejection, alienation, sorrow and loss.
2. I confess that I want to retaliate against this person. I am angry, frustrated and in pain. I know these are not emotions that are going to be helpful to me or that will resolve my situation. I ask You to forgive me of these negative feelings. I desire to forgive this person, Lord. Help me to forgive.
3. I free this person right now from the wrong he has done against me. You deal with him, Lord. I turn over all responsibility for him to You. Free me from any memories that might try to haunt me or discourage me in the wake of this hurtful experience. Help me to walk in freedom and strength in relationship to this person and to all others who know of this incident. I trust You to do this, Holy Spirit. And I ask this in Jesus name. Amen.