Monday, November 23, 2009

Chapter Ten

We are on the last chapter of the Saveone Bible Study which is chapter 10 and we pray that healing was found for all through God's loving touch and mercy. His mercy is what it's all about. We can read over and over again in the Old Testament all about God's mercy for His people. And through His mercy for us He sent Jesus to be the perfect sacrifice for our sin once and for all. God's mercy is never ending. It even extends to our conscious. Hear this from Hebrews 10:19-23: "Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscious and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful."
Pretty mind blowing. Not only does He wipe away our sins, we are to be cleansed of our guilty conscious. I don't know about you, but abortion isn't the only horrible sin I committed. We (you and I) release these sins. As believers we know Christ did not die unnecessarily. We embrace the sacrifice He made for us and recognize we are new creations ready to live a life for Him free of our past. Lets do it.
In this chapter we spoke about Esther and her courage. We recognized that God was the source of her courage. All of us with God are capable of courageous acts and in the future someone may be blessed with our story of healing from abortion. If the situation is appropriate such as the right person, place and time and feeling a nudge from God you may want to share how God healed your heart.
Please be prepared if satan attacks. Read your Bible daily. Remember to memorize a favorite scripture, meditate on it, visualize it and repeat it. This whole process will bring you peace and bring you closer to God.
Continue worshipping the Lord each Sunday, continue bible studies on God's Word and if at all possible join a Community Group of fellow christians. They are like family and can be a source of great support when needed.
I pray with all my heart that all women who suffer from the pain of past abortion find healing and recognize how clean and pure she is before the Lord. How loved she is. How worthful and redeemable she is. Jesus Christ died for all of us to be blemish free when we stand before Him on judgement day. All of us who believe and love Him. That would be us.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Chapter Nine

What a tough chapter this was. But God has been with us so far and there's no doubt He was with you through this one. Through prayer and through God's divine power you were able to discern things about your child, even the sex of your child. I hope and pray as you worked this chapter you remembered Deuteronomy 31:8, "The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." God will never quit you, abandon you, leave you behind or cease from you. God loves you too much. He loves our babies too and has taken excellent care of them. They are experiencing utter joy in heaven.
I have a scripture that has brought me comfort and I'll try my best to explain it as I see it. It is 2 Corinthians 1:5, "For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows." How long did we carry the burdens of shame and guilt? A year. Perhaps years. Either way that's a long time to suffer. Why did we feel that way? We knew it grieved God. We sinned. Jesus bore our sins. He suffered too. He experienced shame and guilt, humiliation. Do you see the connection? We suffered as He did. Now it's time to discard those emotions and move on. Through Christ death on the cross our comfort comes. Now that we fully internalize the depth of His forgiveness we can experience His comfort to overflowing. Allow it to overflow! He doesn't want His suffering, death and resurrection to be wasted another minute. Embrace the comfort He offers. Not only will we experience the comfort He offers if we embrace it we will love Him more deeply.
Having an opportunity to name my babies and provide characteristics was painful yet bittersweet. Being able to memorialize them gave them a place in my home and my heart. Because, as Sheila Harper said, our children were pure, blameless and spotless before the Lord they wait eagerly for our arrival. They have been blissfully rejoicing the presence of the Lord in heaven. And one spectacular day we will get to meet them.
What to work on this week is to banish any residual negative emotions you may have. Call on the skills you have learned. Focus on the heavenly realm your child is in and how one day you'll be sharing it with him or her. Praise God for the mighty work He has done in your life so far and for the love He has for you. Read your Bible, meditate on scripture and fill your mind with God.
Scripture to meditate on is 2 Timothy 4:18, "The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen." Also, Revelation 21:6-7: "He said to me, 'It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life. He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son."

Chapter Eight

Now that you've worked on and are in the process of forgiving yourself you need to change or replace those old negative, harmful, useless and not of God feelings and renew your mind. Keep in the back of your mind always Phillipians 4:8, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is right, whatever is noble, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." Despite our circumstances we can think of praiseworthy things everyday. The light turning green when we need it to, the color of the leaves, a stranger smiling at us. All of these are praiseworthy. It's in how we look at events in our lives. It's how we renew our minds.

How else can we renew our minds? When bad thoughts come, take them captive, throw them away. Say aloud, as I do, "Begone Satan". Tell him to go away out loud. There's no more room in your life for him. Satan cannot hear or read our thoughts, but he can certainly hear our voice. Make it clear to him each and every time. Then say a memory verse or as I sometimes do, the Our Father.

One of the exercises in the chapter called for writing out a familiar shame statement then writing a positive confession so that when we thought those old familiar statements of shame we would then automatically think of our positive statement. One of my statements was so deeply ingrained in me I thought I'd never rise above it and it was that I was just not redeemable. I found Paul's words in Romans 7:24-25 so appropriate to me, "What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death"? And then Paul said, "Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord." Paul saw how wretched he was. How without Christ he was a slave to sin. With Christ we have redemption and forgiveness and His perfect love. He knows we are human and that we will sin and fall short, but we must always lay our shortcomings at His feet. If we know we have areas of weaknesses we should ask for help and guidance from our Holy Spirit. And pray to do God's will each day. Renew your mind.

Scripture that may be helpful to meditate on are: 2 Corinthians 5:17, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old is gone, the new has come." I know you've been in Christ, but you've carried this baggage around for so long. Imagine yourself new in Christ, but this time the baggage is gone. It's a new relationship with Christ without all the negative emotions, the past is gone. Your filled with excellent and praiseworthy things, the new has come. The enemy may try to trip you up, but you know what to do. You have a new relationship with Christ and no one, absolutely no one can destroy it. How freeing is that? Pretty darn free!

Psalm 51:10: "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me."
Dear Father God,

I pray, Father, that you help me rid myself of all negative emotions.

More than anything I want to be closer to You. Please create

in me a pure heart. Point out those areas that I need to cleanse

for You. I don't want anything to come between us, Father. And

renew in me that steadfast spirit of faith. Help me to see so

clearly that without You in my life I am lost. You are my hope

and I love You. In your Son's precious name I pray. Amen

Isaiah 40:31: "but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Chapter Seven

This is an important chapter in that it addresses the issue of forgiving yourself which is important in your relationship with God in that in can cause an obstacle in it. A few years ago I approached my community group leader and told him I a committed a sin that I though was unforgivable. He led me to 1 John 1:8-10, If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives." This was the first verse to lead me to healing. To not accept God's forgiveness and to begin forgiving myself would be like calling our Lord a liar. We know our Lord is not a liar. I just couldn't do that. I meditated on these verses alot which began a healing process for me.
Another verse to meditate on is Romans 8:1: "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Jesus Christ," The minute we believed in Christ, that He died and rose for our sins we were in Jesus Christ. We became one of "those who are in Jesus Christ". There is no condemnation for us. Isn't it time we stopped condemning ourselves and listened to the healing Word of our Lord?
Check this verse out, Judges 10:16, "Then they got rid of the foreign gods among them and served the Lord. And he could bear Israel's misery no longer". This is a perfect example of God's mercy. When the Israelites confessed, relied on God's mercy and became obedient by getting rid of foreign gods and serving the Lord, God "could bear" their misery no longer. If we have confessed with our mouth and heart and choose to serve the one and only Lord we are forgiven. God loves us as he did the Israelites and can't bear that we are miserable in our guilt and unforgiveness. It grieves Him. Accept His forgiveness and accept forgiveness for yourself. The enemy is happy when we hang on to all those burdens because it affects our relationship with God. Get rid of them. Whenever those old feelings of guilt and unforgiveness surface take them captive, throw them away or lay them at Jesus feet and remember your memory verse, "For you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. For if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed". Remember there is no condemnation because you are in Jesus Christ.

Chapter Six

Imagine the gifts you received in the past...a pretty package with bows, but rather than open it you decided to give it back. Unimaginable, right? But that's exactly what we do if we don't accept God's grace. He offers us this wonderful gift of undeserved love and favor that is limitless. We read about Saul (Paul) who hated and persecuted christians and how God's grace even extended to him. God's grace extends to us as well. We may know this in our heads now, but we must learn to feel this in our hearts too. We must learn to see with our hearts God's abiding love he has for us. To do otherwise is a playground for the enemy.

We talked about asking for forgiveness for our abortion and read scripture Isaiah 38:17 and Psalm 103:12 supporting that God puts our sins behind your back and puts our sins as far as east to west, which can never meet. Why does God so eagerly forget our sins? Not for our own sake, he loves to hear our praise and glory. We talked about not only our sins of abortion, but other sins in our lives and I can speak for myself when I say God knows my human heart and my propensity for sin, particularly from when I was younger. He knows how desperately sorry I have grieved Him. He is a loving God who wants to forgive a repentant heart and remember the sins no more. Through His Son's all encompassing sacrifice I can approach God on judgment day with a clean slate and a receiving heart. And as the book says you may not feel instantly forgiven, but over time you will. Know in your heart you are forgiven.

Please take some time to actually meditate on God's gift of grace and take more time to praise him for it each day.

Some additional scriptures to read are: Hebrews 8:8-13: God saw where Israel could not obey the old covenant so he sent his son to die as the perfect sacrifice for sins once and for all calling this the new covenant. How wonderful God's grace is that he saw how weak and sinful we were and are, yet planned a new covenant to give us every opportunity to revel in His awesome grace.

Jeremiah 29:4-14: Despite year after year of being warned by God through the different prophets Israel continued to sin by the making and worshipping of false idols. God disciplined (because they were still in their sin) the people of Jerusalem by leading them into captivity to Babylon. The people of Jerusalem were exiled for 70 years and during that time God encouraged them and did not forget them. The Lord told them that when the 70 years were up " ' I will come for you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' " God granted grace and forgiveness again and again in the Old Testament and He grants it to us again and again. He loves us.
Isaiah 44:22: "I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you." God not only forgives our sins, He wants us, in facts, commands we return to Him.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Chapter Five

In our meeting we discussed Chapter 5 and Forgiving Others. We found that each of us were at different stages of forgiving someone who played a role in our abortion experience. We agreed that it is imperative to relinquish that person who hurt you to God and to pray. To hold onto these feelings of anger, betrayal and bitterness is corrosive. It affects your relationship with God and Satan is loving it. Romans 12:19 says "Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay', says the Lord." Pray, pray and pray some more for God to soften your heart toward this individual, to give you a heart of forgiveness, for understanding to the meaning of forgiveness and to be obedient. Prayer is vital. I had to do this in order to forgive my father and even though initially I did not want to forgive him, I prayed anyway. With God I was able to forgive my father and truly realized it when I felt a sense of sympathy for him because he would have to undergo the wrath of God.
I have a therapist, friend and truly gifted woman who wrote an article on Forgiveness and I have condensed the article to include in this email. The entire article can be seen on Sue McHenry's website http://bibletherapy.blogspot.com/2005/08/forgiveness.html, click on Biblical Therapy on the right, go to the Table of Contents on the left and click on Index to Posts and you will find the whole article titled Forgivness.

Sue writes:
"Let me define forgiveness first. Forgiveness is canceling the debt and promising not to dwell on it in our mind when it comes to mind. When God forgives us our sins, He canceling the debt we owe Him.
What it is not: Forgiving is NOT forgetting, reconciliation, or condoning. They are all different and separate things. Forgetting is not possible, and reconciliation may or may not result from forgiveness depending on whether or not the offender is safe and willing.
God knows us. He knows that as long as we harbor the anger and the pain and the hatred and the sickness, our fellowship with Him suffers. He wants absolute, utter, boundless, inexpressible joy in our lives, and He knows that as long as we harbor the pain of the past, we rob ourselves of that joy.
Jesus knew that, too. Why did He ask the Father to forgive them? Were they going to be forgiven by the Father just because Jesus asked? Of course not.
It was about Jesus not allowing them to rob Him of His joy and His fellowship with the Father. It was about not allowing His natural hatred of them (He was fully human, remember, as well as being fully God) to distract Him from loving and serving God in His final moments of His earthly life. It was so He could be an example to us as to how we can do it, too.
It was NEVER about them. It was ALWAYS about Him and His relationship with His Father.
And He wants that for you. Your forgiveness isn't about them. It doesn't change a thing for them when they face God. God says "leave room for My wrath." (Romans 12:19 He'll deal with them, and when He does, it will far surpass anything you've ever done to them, or could.
Your forgiveness of them is about you, and about your joy and your relationship to God.
If you haven't fogiven them and moved beyond it, then they still own you. They're still tormenting and torturing you. And the enemy loves it. Your anger and hatred and lack of forgiveness is your right. They enemy is making sure you don't forget that. And he's robbing you of your joy and your fellowship with the One that will condemn him to eternal fire, as well. Remember that he wants you, and as long as he can keep you anger-filled and distant from the Father, he has you.
Want the joy that God has in store for you. Want it so badly that you're willing to do anything to get it. Crave it, hunger and thirst for it. Don't give up. Claim victory over your past. It can't own you unless your a willing participant. Defeat it. Begin today to reclaim the joy."

Please read the article in it's entirety. Below is a prayer I prayed to forgive others who have harmed me in the past. With prayer I was successful and I have to tell you that it is freeing to be rid of all of the anger, hurt and bitterness.
Dear Father God,
Please give me a heart of forgiveness. Give me the heart to say this prayer forgiving __________ with meaning and sincerity. Lord, I don't want to disobey you. Help me understand what it means to forgive ___________. Help me to just hand this to You. In Jesus name I pray. Amen
1. Father, I have been hurt. Please heal my wounded heart. Heal me of these feelings of rejection, alienation, sorrow and loss.
2. I confess that I want to retaliate against this person. I am angry, frustrated and in pain. I know these are not emotions that are going to be helpful to me or that will resolve my situation. I ask You to forgive me of these negative feelings. I desire to forgive this person, Lord. Help me to forgive.
3. I free this person right now from the wrong he has done against me. You deal with him, Lord. I turn over all responsibility for him to You. Free me from any memories that might try to haunt me or discourage me in the wake of this hurtful experience. Help me to walk in freedom and strength in relationship to this person and to all others who know of this incident. I trust You to do this, Holy Spirit. And I ask this in Jesus name. Amen.

Chapter Four

Chapter Four dealt with the emotions of shame and depression and the life changing necessity of renewing our minds. As Sheila Harper points out on page 54 it is imperative that in order to renew our minds we must consistently study and meditate on God's Word. By internalizing and believing in our hearts the truths in God's Word we can rid ourselves of the shame statements of "I'm worthless", "I don't deserve to be forgiven", "There's no hope for me" and "I've made too many mistakes". One of my own shame statements were "I'm more sinful than David or Paul". All these statements are lies of Satan's and pull us away from the one who loves us most and who sacrificed the most for us. We dishonor Him by persisting in these negative beliefs that weigh us down. As Sheila Harper says on page 55, close the door on Satan, take these negative thoughts captive, throw them away.
We also discussed depression and the importance of remembering God when we are downcast. He is there to comfort us. Remember, "The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit". Psalm 34:18. Our group discussed strategies to counteract episodes of depression with getting into God's Word being primary, involving yourself in a community group or bible study, a benevolence activity, exercise, activity with a close friend, phone call to a special friend or relative. What I found particularly helpful for myself was I made a list of the people in my life who needed prayer. It had about 15 to 20 names. Throughout the day or in one sitting I would take my list and pray either in detail or not, for each individual on the list. In doing so, I was taking the focus off of myself and blessing someone else. I think God saw favor in this and helped lift those time of feeling down for me. Sometimes we focus so inward we miss those around us and God's special messages for us.
The third emotion we were to choose ourselves. The others in the group couldn't think of an emotion, but fear was an emotion we all agreed was one in which we had experienced. Personally, I had a fear of God's punishment, fear he would take my daughter away because of the sin of abortion. The verses that come to mind that a contradict this fear are this, "God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1John 4:16b-18. Verse 16b says God is love. God loves us. God disciplines. We know we sinned and have asked for forgiveness. By God's grace and mercy our sins have been washed clean through the blood of Christ's sacrifice. Our sin of abortion has been forgiven. Those who are disciplined by God are those that don't see their abortion as sin in their life. The fact that we recognized and confess our sin no longer has need for discipline. God is a good Father who loves us.
The steps we can take to get these emotions under control are read God's Word, meditate, visualize, repeat God's Word; take captive negative thoughts and close the door on Satan and pray.
The first scripture we reviewed was Titus 3:3-7 to give us a perspective of what our thoughts can be focused on rather than those negative thoughts. After we capture those negative thoughts and discard them, think of this, "At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life." No, we don't deserve it, but because of the love of our God and the blood of Jesus we are given mercy and washed clean. Because we accept and love our Lord the Holy Spirit lives in us and we can ignite this Holy Spirit through prayer, listening when He convicts us, and following when He prompts us. Our rewards are growing closer to the Holy Spirit, increasing discernment of God's Word and awesome views of eternal life. Imagine your favorite day, walking along the surf, a view of the Grand Canyon, or perhaps a walk in the woods with wild life. You feel physically 100%, no sadness, no tears, no shame, no guilt, happy beyond words. Now imagine Jesus Christ walking right beside you and call this place Heaven. This is just my small view of eternal life. I'm sure there are no words in the english language to adequately describe it. Maybe you can make up your own view of paradise with our Lord and meditate on that whenever you throw away the negative.
The second scripture we reviewed was 2 Chronicles 33:1-20, please read. Manasseh was King of Judah and reigned for 55 years. He committed many sins against the Lord. He built altars and asherah poles to the Baals and worshipped them, he bowed down and worshipped the starry hosts, he built altars in the temple of the Lord, he took carved images he made and placed them in God's temple AND he sacrificed his sons in the fire in the Valley of Ben Hinnom. He also led the people of Judah to sin. The Lord spoke to Manasseh, but he ignored him so the Lord sent the Assyrians and captured him. In verse 12 Manasseh "sought the favor of the Lord his God and humbled himself" and in verse 13 "the Lord was moved by his entreaty and listened to his plea". Manasseh was probably one of the most sinful kings to ever lead Judah. He put a carved image in God's temple! But God was merciful, in spite of Manaseh's numerous sins, and heard his prayer. God hears our prayers too and is moved by our pleas, just as He was for Manasseh's. You are forgiven! You need to reach that realization and embrace the compassion God has for you. Internalize the love and forgiveness God has for you and you'll feel empowered as Manasseh did to turn Judah around. You'll feel empowered, loved and free at last from the bondage of guilt, shame and fear that Satan holds you in. All you have to do is accept the essence of God, His love.
Other scriptures to read are: Isaiah 61:7, Isaiah 54:4, Psalm 25:20, Romans 7.

Chapter Three

In our meeeting we spoke about the different symptoms of PAS and how each one of us has varying symptoms of it, but how we all shared the feelings of guilt, anger and sorrow at one time. In Chapter Three you read about David and his sin of adultery and conspiring to murder Uriah, yet David was loved by God and was "a man after God's own heart". We pretty much found that guilt is often times self-inflicted and a weapon of Satan's. We confess our sin, praise God for His grace and mercy and move on. We can take steps to help dissolve our guilt by reflecting on David's Psalms and his praises of God, praying to God to relieve us of the burden of guilt and by banishing the emotion every time it enters our thoughts because that is a lie from Satan.
Anger is righteous or a sin. Jesus had righteous anger in clearing the temple and with the pharisees when he felt God being grossly disregarded. But Jesus never got angry when he himself was disrespected. Anger breeds bitterness, it's like a fungus. It grows and spreads and hardens our hearts AND its wasteful. We need the help of God, the Holy Spirit and prayer to overcome this emotion and again Satan loves it when we hold onto this one. Don't let Satan trick you into believing you have a right to be angry.
We have lots to be sorrowful for. Our past abortion, perhaps abuses, drug or alcohol abuses, promiscuity (and I'm just talking about myself), but maybe others have experienced this as well. But again, be sorrowful for a season then move on because God wants to give us His joy, His peace, His wonderful presence one day. And those are the things we need to fix our eyes on. Ask God to ease your sorrow. Read scripture, pray, meditate, He'll answer you.
I have two scriptures to review. One is Ecclesiates 5:18-20: "Then I realized it is good and proper for a man to eat and drink and to find satisfaction in his toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given him - for this is his lot. Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work - for this is a gift of God. He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart". Solomon, the wisest man in the world, knew what he was writing about. He tried everything to find happiness, but only through his communications with God did he find gladness of heart. What these passages tell me is that TODAY we can find happiness in what God has provided for us. Our families, friends, a roof over our heads, our job or our spouses' jobs, our health or any provision God has made for us. Verse 20 tells us to put our past behind us. From ages 7-12, I was severely sexually abused by my father, I experienced abortions and sins of all kinds. I could dwell on these things and allow Satan a foothold. Allow depression to overwhelm me and on bad days sometimes they do. But most days I remember today, not yesterday and I thank God. I so want and strive to be occupied with gladness of heart. Don't you?
The other scripture is really the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden with some thoughts that maybe hadn't occurred to you before. Adam and Eve had eaten from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil which was a sin. Immediately they felt guilt, shame and embarrassment (evil) of being naked and having done exactly what they weren't supposed to do. They sewed fig leaves for clothes and hid from God. They were now in a sinful state. God sent Adam and Eve from Eden because above all they could not eat from the tree of life and live forever miserable knowing and living in a state of sin. This expulsion from Eden was an act of compassion from God. The other act God did for Adam and Eve was to cover their shame and guilt with comfortable animal skins instead of fig leaves. What do the two acts alone indicate? He loved them enough to protect them from living forever feeling sin. God had so much compassion for them He made them comfortable garments to cover their feelings of shame and embarassment. Well, since that time something even more magnificent has happened. God has sent us a sure proof plan that wipes away sin and feelings of guilt, shame and embarassment altogether, if only we accept it. God loves us so much he sent Jesus Christ to erase sin and cover our nakedness. Because God is filled with compassion, He doesn't want us to think and feel these negative emotions. We honor Him by working on and praying for those negative emotions to become a thing of the past.
Read other scriptures: 1 Timothy 1:12-14; Revelations 7:15-17; Romans 12:19

Chapter Two

In the meeting we began sharing with page 25 and with the questions regarding whether the abortions left us with mental or emotion effects such as depression or inabilities to feel close to God which was the way I felt after becoming a christian. I felt because of my abortion God could never forgive me thus I could never forgive myself. But in time and in God's forgiving nature I eventually saw his awesome light and felt His love. We discussed how we had harbored anger and bitterness toward others who had played roles in our abortions and the importance of letting go of these feelings and leaving room for God's wrath, "Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay", says the Lord." Romans 12:19 One of our women talked about being angry with God at one time in her life and how she came to forgive Him for all she experienced.
We talked about what we hope to gain from this book is the wonderful forgiving redemption of God our Savior who loves us and promises a New Heaven and New Earth for those who love Him. And we do love Him with all our hearts. Abortion is a sin like all others that is forgivable. As long as we confess with our lips and our hearts which I know we have done, He forgives. And He redeems.
Scriptures for review and meditation are 2 Corinthians 4:16-18: "For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory. While we look not at the things that are seen, but the things that are not seen are eternal." Remember Paul's light afflictions were being flogged 5 times, 3 times beaten with a rod, once stoned 3 times shipwrecked, spent a night in the open sea and in danger (2 Cor. 11:24-26). Paul was looking forward to the day of being united with Christ in heaven and the reward of spending eternity with God and saw his earthly sufferings in comparison.
Psalm 32:1-2: "Blessed in he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sins the Lord does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit." David had committed a sin. He committed adultery and because he desired his mistress so much he conspired to have her husband placed in the front line of battle to assure his death. David was a Godly man and is known for being a man after God's heart. But he sinned. Just like we all do. I'm sure just like David did each one of us confessed to God and felt it in our hearts. And just like David we are forgiven.

Chapter One

During our meeting we talked about how in our brains we recognize the power of God, but have difficulty feeling in our hearts that He truly forgives us. I know this to be true: the Bible is accurate and it time and time again tells us of the mercy and grace that is ours just for the asking and that God keeps His promises.
There may be storms in or lives and I can offer up four reasons why God may allow storms in our lives: 1: sin or disobedience; 2: character building or teaching; 3: He may be trying to redirect us; 4: for His glory. If we can recognize these reasons as God's way of assuring complete dependence on Him as our true Father who loves us, we will experience His peace which is like no other. One of the questions asks us to think of times in our lives where God was active, I can say for myself, the past year He has been with me every step of the way even the times I was angry with Him. He has helped me through drug addiction and recovered memories of horrendous child abuse. Without Him, I would still be in a pit of profound depression. Can you think of times where God was active throughout your life even before you were truly aware of Him? He's an amazing God who wants us to let go of the yoke of guilt and shame from our abortion. I know in my heart that as long as we hold onto all the negative emotions, that Satan is doing a dance of joy knowing that he is keeping us from God and salvation. We need to believe with our hearts that God has magnificent plans for us and they don't include self-destructive emotions.
Please think of what you have gained from working through Chapter 1 and what steps you can take throughout the week to put the knowledge of our loving God into practice. I have two scriptures for you to think on: Psalm 34 particularly, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit". Also 1 Timothy 1:12-14: "I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service. Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus". Paul was ignorant and was unbelieving, but God was merciful and sent the Lord to Damascus and Paul believed. Maybe, like me, you grew up believing, but felt already unworthy and doomed to hell. Maybe you just partially believed, but were ignorant to who Jesus was. Maybe, you believed but felt there were no alternatives for you. Or maybe your just like Paul. The bottom line, though is - it doesn't matter. The moment you chose to believe and wanted a relationship with Christ, God bestowed mercy and His grace flowed. It just happened. The goodness of the Lord is amazing.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Post-Abortion Study information blog - Susie

For many women the pain of past abortion is overwhelming. They live with guilt and shame, and as some studies have shown depression. As one of these women I was struggling in my christian walk and I just couldn't get close to God. I joined a community group, did bible studies, read the Bible, but I always felt like an outsider looking in. You see because of my past sin and my guilt I felt unworthy and exempt from God's grace. I truly believed eternal salvation was not in my future. This also affected my relationships with other christians and again I felt like an outsider. I was sure I was the only christian woman who had sinned in this way. I went on feeling far from God, feeling guilt and despair. Well, God started working on me through meditating, thinking on His Word and through my wonderful community group. God said to me, "Susie, your still my child and I can bear your misery no longer". Much like God told the Israelites in Judges 10, verse 18. I started to internalize and recognize in my heart that God did love me, that I was redeemable and that it grieved Him to continue carrying around all that guilt and shame. Guilt, shame, feelings of unworthiness are not of God. Of course, Satan loves it because it keeps us from growing closer to God. I finally understood what my community group leader tried to explain to me a few years ago from 1 John 1, verse 9, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from unrighteousness". How healing and freeing God's Word became to me. I was forgiven and now I look forward to eternal salvation and a new heaven and a new earth.
My co-leader and I, with God's Word and guidance want to make eternal salvation and bring restoration to women who hurt from past abortion through a Bible Study called "Saveone" by Sheila Harper. The next study will begin in January, 2010. If there is any woman interested in this study and God's saving grace and have questions or comments, please post them and I will help in any way. Or you may call me at 301-843-1151 or email me at suzannemarie1223@verizon.net. Thank you.